


The silence of nothing

by Lady_Athena



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: And he fucking gets one dammit, But not to fear, But they aint having it, Established Relationship, Gay Richie Tozier, Gay Stanley Uris, He's not in a good place, M/M, Other, Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris Are Best Friends, Richie Tozier Loves Stanley Uris, Richie is a supportive boyfriend, Richie takes good care of him, So does the losers, Soft Richie Tozier, Stanley Uris Loves Richie Tozier, Stanley deserves a hug, Stanley has a depressive episode, Stanley tries to distances himself from the losers, Supportive Losers, The Losers Club Deserve Happiness (IT), The Losers Club Love Each Other (IT), They love Stanley, aight imma head out, mentions of panic attack, possible trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:08:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23194498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Athena/pseuds/Lady_Athena
Summary: “Stanley, you have some visitors.” His mother’s soothing voice called out into the dark bedroom. “It’s all your friends.” She explains, opening the door wider to allow light into the room. “Go ahead in… he’s a little… under the weather.” She explains as the losers look into the room before freezing.Stan was a very precise person when it came to things… so seeing his room in such chaos was… concerning, to say the least.  He liked order and that’s what made him the logical mind of their rag-tag bunch of misfits.“Stan?” Bev was the first one to speak. “What’s going on?” She asked, wanting to run her fingers through his greasy curls, but decided against it.Stan was staring at the wall in front of him with a blank expression. He wanted to cry… He felt like he should, but there was nothing. No tears or sobbing breathes of sorrow… just a giant hole in his chest that was growing bigger. His throat tightened, making it hard to breathe as his lungs expanded to the max before shakily falling back down.“St-St-Stan?” Bill asked.
Relationships: Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris, Richie Tozier/Stanley Uris
Comments: 1
Kudos: 110





	The silence of nothing

Stan felt numb to everything around him. 

From a very young age, Stanley Uris was a boy who never spoke often and didn’t interact much with anyone. It concerned his parents because they were scared something may have been wrong with him. It made school hard for both his parents and Stanley because Stan refused to make friends or try and hide so they couldn’t take him to school. 

That all changed in second grade. A young black-haired boy with bandages everywhere stumbled up to Stan and asked if he wanted to play. At first, Stan didn’t want anything to do with the boy, however, he was very persistent and soon followed Stan everywhere. It was rather odd for Stan because he went from hating the young boy named Richie… to missing him greatly when Richie had to miss school. 

Stan found himself attached to Richie despite always getting annoyed by Richie’s dumb shenanigans. Richie wasn’t just Stan’s first friend… he was the only person that could get an emotion out of Stan. The young blonde-curly-haired boy craved the feelings that Richie had given him when the other would do literally anything. 

Soon the dynamic duo because a trio when William Denbrough weaseled his way into the boys’ space… Not that Stanley really minded, but there was a part of Stan that didn’t like Bill at first. He was scared that Bill was going to take Richie away, but still, Richie was always by Stan’s side. Bill would sit on Stan’s left while Richie was on his right whenever the trio was doing anything from doing school work to outside at recess. 

Then came Edward Kaspbrak at the beginning of third grade. The tiny boy was nervous about everything and hated being touched by anyone. However, when he met Bill, Richie, and Stan… his attitude changed slightly. It’s not like he wasn’t still afraid of everything… it’s just… he liked having friends with the other boys. 

Stan began to distance himself from the Losers club about three years after the Pennywise incident. Not only was he abandoned by his friends, but he almost was lunch for that dumb flute playing--Off-topic. So… yeah, Stan couldn’t bring himself to be around his friends right now because everyone was dealing with nightmares… He just didn’t want to talk about his. 

Stan got into depressive episodes where he wouldn’t move for any reason. His mother merely contacted the school so she could get his homework and wait out the storm. Stanley wouldn’t speak to them anymore and after the entire shit-show of his Bar Mitzvah, his dad wasn’t too keen on speaking to his son either. 

“Stanley, you have some visitors.” His mother’s soothing voice called out into the dark bedroom. “It’s all your friends.” She explains, opening the door wider to allow light into the room. “Go ahead in… he’s a little… under the weather.” She explains as the losers look into the room before freezing. 

Stan was a very precise person when it came to things… so seeing his room in such chaos was… concerning, to say the least. He liked order and that’s what made him the logical mind of their rag-tag bunch of misfits. 

“Stan?” Bev was the first one to speak. “What’s going on?” She asked, wanting to run her fingers through his greasy curls, but decided against it. 

Stan was staring at the wall in front of him with a blank expression. He wanted to cry… He felt like he should, but there was nothing. No tears or sobbing breathes of sorrow… just a giant hole in his chest that was growing bigger. His throat tightened, making it hard to breathe as his lungs expanded to the max before shakily falling back down. 

“St-St-Stan?” Bill asked.

Stan flinched at the feeling of the bed dipping towards the bottom. He knew that it was Bill but his brain was acting like a terrified animal… All he wanted to do was crawl under the bed so they couldn’t see him anymore. 

“I’m here!” Richie’s loud voice boomed. “Sorry, arguing with parents.” He panted before looking to the bed as he froze. “Shit… Stan?” He rushed up as Bill moved back. 

“His mom said he’s been like this for almost a week,” Mike comments softly. 

“What’s going on with him? Is he sick?” Eddie asked worriedly, glancing from Bev to Bill. 

“Why didn’t you talk to me, Stanny? We promised each other to always talk when we got like this.” Richie whispered as Stan’s eyes fluttered before the dull eyes slowly flickered to Richie. 

Stan’s mouth opened, but nothing came from his lips. 

“Wait, you know what’s wrong with him?” Ben asked before everyone looked at Richie.

“I don’t… I never fully understood what was going on with Stan. But… But we both get these episodes.” Richie explains softly before crawling onto the bed as Stan watched him. “Alright Stan the man, I’m here now. Sorry, it took me so long to realize what was happening. I knew you were fucking distancing yourself on purpose.” He huffs softly, but there were tears in his eyes. 

“How do we help him?” Bev asked softly when Stan moved sluggishly before wrapping his arms around Richie and burying his face into Richie’s stomach to take in the scent of… Richie. 

What the other Losers don’t know is… Stan and Richie have been dating since they were fifteen so of course, Richie’s scent would be the thing to calm him down. 

“Just being here will help. We can’t physically do anything for him. So just… be here. Your presences let him know that we’re here for him.” Richie smiles softly down at Stan who hasn’t moved. 

“Yuh-Yuh-You.. Have you fuh-fuh-faced this before with him?” Bill asked quietly. 

“Yeah, but he’s taken care of me too. It’s just how we work. Stan calls me a pompous ass every so often and I annoy him with all my amazing jokes! But we both would drop anything when either one gets like this.” He explains. “Also this is the only time Stan likes physical contact from me so.” He shrugs with a gentle grin.

“Rich.” Stan’s voice was hoarse considering it’s been days since he spoke. He winced at the sharp stabbing pain as he looked up to the other boy.

“You need something? Water? Something to eat?” Richie immediately went into the mode he always did whenever Stan got like this.

Stan shook his head before slumping in relief at the feeling of hot, salted tears trickling down his flushed cheeks. Suddenly a sob tears from his throat as the other losers share heartbroken looks before turning back to see Stan bury his face deeper into Richie’s stomach.

“Ssh, it’s okay. You’re so fucking good, Stan. This world is a better place since you came into it… I’m a better person since you came into my life.” He explains while combing his hands through Stan’s hair. “And when you are feeling better we’re gonna go to the Quarry and I’ll let you push me in.” He grins, making the others snort gently. 

Stan’s body was shaking violently as heartbreaking sobs escaped his cracked lips. He just wanted to be with Richie right now because this is the safest he’s felt in days and he didn’t want that feeling to go away. 

“Can someone get me a wet washcloth?” Richie asked softly, glancing up from Stan as Bev nods before taking Ben with her.   
“Is there anything I can do?” Eddie asked quietly to Richie. 

“Maybe ask for a glass of water?” Richie offers as Bill and Mike immediately offered to go get it. “Come here, Eds.” He motioned him over when Eddie shifted nervously. 

“Would--Is he gonna be okay with that?” Eddie frowns softly. 

“When he’s like this… Stan likes to feel safe. So this is how I make him feel safe. Maybe talk to him? You don’t have to touch him… But just be here.” Richie comments as Eddie finally sits on the edge of the bed.

“Hey Stan, I hope you feel better soon. I’m sorry… I’m so sorry you feel this way. I hope you know that all of us are here for you.” Eddie assured, feeling his own tears form. “I know you don’t like talking about it… and I just… I wish you would. I’m so scared for you and it scares me when you stop coming around. We love you so much, Stan… Please remember that.” He begged when Stan turned to face Eddie with a broken expression.

“I’m… I’m sorry.” He croaked out when Eddie shook his head.

“No, no… Don’t be sorry. Don’t ever be sorry for feeling this way. Please… All I ask is that you talk to us. All of us. You’re our best friend, Stan. We aren’t the Losers club without you.” Eddie whispered as Richie grins gently. 

“He’s right you know,” Richie whispered before Stan glanced back to him. 

Bev and the others soon returned with the requested items as Richie stood up off the bed, causing Eddie to move so the raven-haired boy could get Stan up. Stan was slowly as he sat up, wincing at the sharp pains in his muscles before Richie helped remove his shirt. 

“Let’s get you into some new clothes, huh? You think you can wash yourself up?” Richie asked, but the clouded look in Stan’s eyes told him no. “Okay, that’s okay. Here.” He thanked Bev for the small bucket and cloth before he started to scrub gently at Stan’s face. 

“Is there anything we can help with?” Bev asked, leaning against the wall at the foot of Stan’s bed. 

“Some new clothes, please?” Richie smiled gently when Stan’s eyes fluttered at the feeling of the cloth running down his face. “How are you feeling?” He asked quietly. He knew that these episodes always made Stan sensitive to loud noises. 

“Tired.” Stan supplies as Richie nods. 

“That’s okay. We can get you to sleep. First, can you drink something for me?” He took the glass from Mike before offering it out to Stan who slowly took sips from the water. “That’s it. Great, thank you.” He smiles before placing a kiss on Stan’s forehead. 

“Here.” Ben offered out some new clothing as Richie glanced at the others.

“Might wanna go wait outside. He needs to completely strip down.” He explains when they all nod before going out of the room. 

Eddie lingered for a moment longer, squeezing Stan’s hand before he too joined the others outside the room. It was hard to see Stan this way, but honestly, Richie knew exactly what he was doing… It was strange to see Richie so gentle and quiet in these few moments. 

“There you go. All done.” Richie smiles at the sight of a redressed Stan before he threw the dirty clothing into a hamper.

“Richie… Thank you. I’m sorry you--” He was cut off by Richie’s hand on his mouth.

“None of that bullshit, Stan the man. We just had a little bump in the road. Nothing that a little tender love can’t fix.” He flashed a grin before he started to clean up the rest of Stan’s room. 

“One of the… One of the scars busted open the other day. And there was so… so much blood.” Stan whispered when Richie looked up to him in shock.

“Jesus, Stan… I’m… I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you come to me?” Richie asked before Stan covered his face. 

“You had finally told us that your parents were neglecting you… I… I didn’t want to burden you.” He whispered.

“Dude shut the fuck up! Oh… I’ve never been on the other side of that. Anyway--” He cuts himself off, waving his hands frantically. “You would never burden me, Stan. Never, do you hear me? I don’t give a fuck if I’m on my death bed and you just wanna tell me you stubbed your toe. Fucking tell me! Okay, I’m… I’m your best friend. Lean on me.” He bent down so he could look up at Stan.

“Okay, I… Thank you.” He whispered before glancing down at his hands. He began to pinch at the skin between his thumb and index finger. “I had a panic attack… And… And it was awful. I couldn’t function. I fell into a hole that I couldn’t get out of. It was the worst. I wanted to scream but it was like someone had my throat.” He explains before glancing up to Richie who was watching him.

“Well, looks like they don’t have a hold of your voice anymore.” He whispered before placing his hands on top of Stan’s. “You are a tough fucking cookie. Do you hear me, Staniel? The fucking toughest.” He grins warmly. 

“Stay with me.” Stan tugs at him. 

“You want me to let the others in first?” He asked before getting cut off by Stan’s lips against his own as he froze. “Uh… That’s a no.” He whispered before kissing him again as Stan chuckled gently. 

“Yeah, you probably should. They’re worried about me.” Stan comments quietly.

“They’re worried because they care.” Richie resorts before getting up and opening the door. “Alright losers, get in here and get ready for a nap!” He glances back at Stan who rolled his eyes before laying down again. 

The others trailed their way in as Richie flopped down onto Stan’s bed with Stan immediately curled up against him. Bev quirks an eyebrow before noticing that look that the two shared as she grins. Soon all the losers grabbed blankets and pillows from the closet while Richie, Stan, and Eddie shared his bed.

It was a tight squeeze with Stan smooshed in the middle… but he kind of enjoyed that. 

Stan’s eyes slowly fluttered open before he noticed Richie already asleep with Stan’s head on his chest. He could feel Eddie behind him with their backs together and for the first time in a long time… he felt at peace with himself… He felt… something. 


End file.
